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www.sharmwomen.com • View topic - Cross-Cultural Relationships by Dr. Ibrahim Yehia
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 Post subject: Cross-Cultural Relationships by Dr. Ibrahim Yehia
PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 9:50 pm 
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Lets share thoughts and opinions on the newest article in the magazine:

CROSS-CULTURAL RELATIONSHIPS
Making a Proper Decision!! (1)

by Dr. Ibrahim Yehia



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PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 4:37 pm 
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This is a very interesting article - thank you Dr. Ibrahim!
I am sure many women (and men) could prosper from it.
I am looking forward to reading more.... :)


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It is very nice to see such an honest oppinion from an egyptian man.I think many women need this perspective because most of egyptian men dont talk much about their beliefs and just after marriage apear to be stronge believers, very close to theirs family (even if the family dislike the western wife), very strict regarding the wifes clothes etc.
Sometimes the gap between traditions is huge - I was surprise not so long time ago to hear that an english women is fighting with her egyptian husband about the fact that he wants that their future girl (she is pregnant now) to be circumcise!! I think that very few western women could even think about this or they dont know what is this - so how to discuss it before marriage?
What is your oppinion as a doctor ? And this is still legal procedure in Egypt?


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 Post subject: Intercultural Relationships
PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:53 am 
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I am actually happy to know that some one takes a thought of this kind of problem, which is a very delicate one indeed.

In first place, people these days are far too fast in anything they do. And this is also the case in relationships.When they meet, they want to possess immediately. The real communication and way of interacting with each other has not much quality anymore, while people should take time to get to know each other, especially within 2 diff cultures & find out if they are made for each other before they even sexually get involved. So much damage can be done. Where is the respect for each other?

We also should be aware that our own individual happiness is not pending from any other person. Happiness comes from our inside, our inner balance. Also, we should not judge each other. We should respect and try to understand each other. Love means, to be the way we really are and entitle the same rights to others and to learn out of any experience and acceptability is something spiritual which can not be captured only by our brain.

Within a mixed couple, both need to realize, accept and respect the difference of their culture & religion before they really get involved.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 4:58 pm 
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Elke, the words you wrote are so true. It's not easy but it's worth it if you enter into marriage with an open mind.


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Susan wrote : [quote]I am a qualifed Psychiatric Nurse and Trained Couple Counsellor but even I have struggled in some situations to handle the issues that are being brought out. Having a supportive friend and someone with a variety of life experiences to share is a wonderful thing and must not be belittled in any way, but I think we are talking about something much deeper here and so would advise caution in how this is initially set up and then taken forward.

I agree with you.Interieure balance is important as Elke is suggesting but is not enough.The happiness is coming from inside you endeed (but when you are alone and you have all other reasons to be happy....) but when you choosed a wrong partner he can make you very unhappy, no matter how "balanced" you are.

And what about the happiness of your husband - who was raised sorounded by women wearing scarf (for exemple) and now he is seeing you , his beloved wife, taking sun almost naked infront of 20 other man.He is an open mind person and he agree with your freedom but is he happY ? I dont think so.

Or you changed your religion, started to wear a scarf, your husband is going by himself to caffetaria, to disco etc.You are trying to be a good wife and to adapt this new culture.But are you happy ? I dont know.

And what about the children?They will see so many diffrent things around them - how you will raise them ? To believe in chastity till marriage when you are convinced that this isnt such a wise idea or not ?

Every person, every marriage has some problems who can be solved by counseling but diffrences between Religions,Traditions and Cultures(RTC) cannt be solved by discussions.You must know what you can accept and what you cannt, to discuss every compromise (based on RTC) before marriage and very , very honest.

A group like this can help endeed, in order to hear that many women have the same problem as you for exemple , and they accepted this or that and like this maybe you will change your mind.

I was discussing with my husband almost everything before marriage (even divorce) but I understood that I cant controll every situation that can apear so even if I was very afraid to marry I said in my mind (God will help me please no matter what will happend ).

When my friends from home were asking me "What you will do if he will take another wife ?" I was saying "anyway , I will be the first wife so the most important and the other will come to kiss my hand" or when they asked me "ok, you dont wear scarf but if you will have a daughter , she will be muslim and she will wear a scarf ?" I was responding "Yes, and she will be virgine till marriage and she will marry the man that we will choose - I will not have your problems with pregnant teenager, rebelien children etc".Of course I was laughing but the truth is that I still dont know what I would do in this situations - so God help me not to ever be !


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 Post subject: Intercultural Relationships
PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 2:10 pm 
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Dear Susan, Dear Dr. Yehima,

thank you for your comments.

Susan, I totally agree that having support (friends, family etc.) around is wonderful and a helpful thing because support is most important. I am not a Doctor as mentioned in first place and sure agree of the advice of professional help. If it will be visible founding such helping group it is a great offer from your side to assist. I would love to meet you. I am arriving in Sharm 19 April.

Also, there are several ways of supporting others. Me for example I never had any support, but took all my courage and believe I have in God to brave all difficulties. By now I walked through so many experiences that I can write a book myself and to be honest, I appreciate what I learned until today. I studied myself & others, read so many books (including psychology) about different ways of healing, how to understand what my body is trying to tell me when it hurts, been treated by different alternative healing ways and I am like a new born baby! Had I listened to the school medicine, I would be a physical & emotional wrack today, drugged with strong medication. Of course I am fully insured for school medicine but not for such treatments. I therefore paid thousands of ? out my own pocket but my health is the most expensive thing I have and I knew God would let me have all the money to keep on going. I did and I WON!

Also I experienced the TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) after studying a book before and I find out its such a wonderful and natural way of regaining health without any chemical medication, it?s like a miracle and should not be ignored.

Since I became best girlfriend with my TCM doctor, we are discussing all the time. She is here in Europe since 2,5 years but still can?t understand the way doctors here treating people (chemical medication which always has an impact on the body?s nature). That they don?t search for the REAL cause of the problem of an illness, which starts with our emotions & behavior (as I explained in my previous post). Going backwards, one should analyzing the emotions and why is the emotion out of balance, what happened, what is the cause. Than again one step back, we will find out what we felt when this certain thing happened to us. And this little something, this emotion we had is the real cause, impacting our health & life.
For expl. Anger, hate & stress is connected with the liver, anxiety with the bladder & kidneys?..just roughly said! So we are victims of our own way of thinking, feeling and speaking. When those emotions are settling inside our body but not being released, our body suffers after a certain time, the organs are affected.

Therefore it is so important that we realize, we need to start at the lowest level. Meaning, we should begin with loving & respecting ourselves (how can one respect or love others when he not love & respect himself?), than interact the same with others.
But not to forget, we must at all time allow ourselves to fully trust in God. Because when we fully trust him, respect all living things, practicing charity etc. we receive in return God?s blessing. And this blessing means inner balance, harmony, love, health, prosperity, happiness, success and many more things. But if we hate, stress, being afraid, we have no inner peace, no balance. Therefore this is the base of our life and if we able opening peoples mind to those things, they will have fewer problems in all their life's & relationships and can live together in more peace & harmony.

As its written in Qur?an, we humans create our own problems ? mistrusting, fear, hate ? that leads us out of balance. Than we praying, asking God for help. God helps us, we are happy but forget quickly and turn away again from God, falling into the old habits and so we cause our own destruction!


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:08 pm 
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[quote="Gabriela"]
I agree with you.Interieure balance is important as Elke is suggesting but is not enough.The happiness is coming from inside you endeed (but when you are alone and you have all other reasons to be happy....) but when you choosed a wrong partner he can make you very unhappy, no matter how "balanced" you are.

Gabriella, out of my own experience - once you regain your inner balance you will not make wrong choices. If I can meet you, it will be my pleasure telling my entire life story and you will understand what I am talking about. But online is very limited.

I was alone all my life, even I had family. Loyalty for the own blood was written very little! Nobody helped me. I experienced several cultures and know exactly what you are talking about. Believe me, I was in worse situations.

Of course, we feel helpless, hopeless and crying inside. We are paralyzed. Yes you made the wrong decision. You been looking for love and understanding, you believed everything that was told to you. Now you unhappy because you made the wrong choice. Why all this?

You see, we are copying our problems in life over and over again. As we grow up as children, our parent hood is the most important place. We copy many things from our parents etc.

I can tell you, my suffer already started being a baby and the life that followed was the chain reaction of actions and things happening between me and my parents. Therefore it is so important to go all the way back and to clean up what has been done wrong in our life's. To forgive and let it go. Only than we can start a new beginning. But it is a long way!

As long a person not understand the process inside a human being and starts adopting & accepting certain things, the self healing process is still blocked. But if one opens up and goes very deep inside and that little "click" is happening, the process starts. Don't think that it is easy. But don't let it hesitate you. I walked back long way, I wanted to give up many times, I thought I was go crazy. But I did not and I am very proud of myself today.

My life changed so suddenly, that I still think I am in a dream. All I have are my experiences to share with those who are interested. It is only an offer and not a medical treatment.

There is so much more to talk but as I said, it is such a complex theme that it is difficult to discuss online and thats why I asked for a physical group where people can talk about their experiences with those who made it back living a different life today. I am arriving in Sharm 19 April in order to build up a new life there. If you wish to meet, it will be my pleasure.


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 Post subject: Intercultural Relationships
PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 8:24 pm 
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Dear Dr. Ibrahim,

Thank you so much for your time and positive view of all our comments involved on this subject, as well to provide such detailed and well organized professional plan on how you see the ?Trust Group? should be working. I know it will be time consuming but really hope and wish this all can be visible in future. It would be a great and wonderful benefit for Sharm El Sheikh?s inhabitant?s.

_________________
Today do not anger,Today do not worry,Today honor those around you,Today work hard to improve yourself,Today honor & respect all living things - Dr. MIKAO USUI


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 Post subject: cross-cultural (or cross "social-status"?) relatio
PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 9:28 am 
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Dear all, thanks to the God and thank you to promote such a discussion about a concrete problem which finally is faced and not covered under veils of illusions and dreams.

Following personal experience may I say a couple of things? (I am sorry and astaghferollah if I do not go deeper in what I say. I could but there is no space enough. I am sure you will find the way to go deeper by your Self).

1) For foreigners "western" women, please check and re-check your level of self-esteem (why didn't you find a finace?/husband in your country? Why did you find one in Egypt -and I let you know everything about culture and traditions there-). The "love" concept for Egyptians is almost different from our concept of it. They have a more practical way to see it. They live in a country where many people still fighting for satisfying basic needs: there is no time, eventually, to think about "feelings". Words are words, fact are facts. They rely on Qouran and what is written there. Anything else are almost considered -sorry- bull shits. And love is love and business is business. Love is for family ("brothers, sisters"), business is for ... foreigners, maybe.

2) For egyptians -?- (and here I will find two stops: is a woman talking, is a European = Western = American = Jewish woman -!- talking): we don't need "esthetic liars". Yes, they are nice and very esthetic. But at the end we (foreigner) prefer a cruel truth instead of a lovely liar. We are not different than Egyptian women! We also -are women/mothers!- need a stable situation in order to build a family. "Money" even in western countries (!!!) do not grow up on the trees. And relations between men and women drive on the same track as in your country: respect, both cooperating for the well being of the family, and so on .... Marriages are not exactely a easy thing to be carried on anywhere in the world.

(Sorry, if I could not explain in a better way what I was ment to explain and if my English is not a perfect one. I didn't ment to hurt anyone, could the God have helped me in avoiding to hurt someone. I mean: I have the feeling -certified by personal experience- that both egyptians and western women fall in crosscultural relations due to a some kind of illusions we have about "the other one". We do not face the reality of life. Do not break the relations with your native family and with your parents: listen to them. Their wisedom come from life experience and following their suggestions about crosscultural relations could not result so damaging as we were thinking .... And I am talking about both egyptian and western families and parents. Blessings upon you all).

Thank you.


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Francesca, sometimes falling in love is just that, even for Egyptians. We never know who we will meet or where that make an impact on us. I think for any woman that travels, the opportunity for her to fall in love with someone not from her own company is quiet possible.
As you did mention, family is important, it's important to meet his family and see how they respond to you and it's important for him to meet your family and see how they feel about him. I met my Egyptian husband by chance in the UK, I am American and my family loved him immediately and his family took me right in as one of their own. There has always been cultural differences but if you start your marriage with love and respect, you can get past this. Even in my own country I met men that I would never understand their point of view on things or be able to live with. The big thing is to have an open mind and take your time. Also, keep your eyes open and think beyond the "falling in love" part because as you said, marriage is not easy in any society.
I will disagree about love being different in Egypt. If you ever hear Egyptian love songs, you would realize it's the same. Arranged marriages just aren't that common anymore with the middle and high class sectors. And some arranged marriages they may not "fall in love" to get married but they develope a very strong love over time, based on mutually respect. That is what a marriage is after the "falling in love" phase is over, it's a true partnership.
JMHO


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 Post subject: Dear Eshta
PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 9:22 am 
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thank you very much for your reply I appreciate it very much. Thank you for sharing your personal life experience. Thank you for confirming "family" agreement to marriages. I did not understand exactely what about your husband if he was a tourist in UK or if he was living there. (I think the only think that makes us really understand a culture different that the one we grew up in, is to live -making life experiences- in the "other" country). Anyway. (Sorry for this ... I hope the "dog" in the last sentence is not a "dog" the way egyptians mean it!!!). I mean: -say- Arabic culture is quite different from -say- European culture. I also did not understand if your family at least shared the same religion as your husband's one. (Eshta sounds like being an Arabic name ...). I am not talking about cross-religious relations since I guess nowadays it is a "problem" even too much approached all around the world. But I must consider that the way "Western countries" cope with religion (being a private thing, somehow shared from public life) is different from the way "Arabic countries" cope with it (being a private/public thing). I feel, among cross-cultural relationships this point could make a difference. I do not know how you two (and your families) coped with it. (The God bless you all and your lives). What I actually noted as a difference between Arabic and Western people, in their way of seeing Love is that Arabic do not get too much enraptured by words/songs .... We have beautiful love songs and love "poetries" and words in both Cultures, but I feel here in the West we rely too much (we believe too much) in such words. Which, I am sorry if I actually believe this, come from the phantasy of people. When we talk about love, generally we are droven from feelings to exagerate thing. We see love with the eyes of a dreamer. Of course, the true Love, as it will be clear during a whole-life-lasting marriage, is not just a matter of "I love you -bhebbk-, flowers, I need you, I want you -wahastheny-, you are all my life -ente/a kollo hyaty-, your eyes are like stars, your are beautiful like the moon/sweet like honey -ente qamar/3ssal-..." and so on. After talking with Arabic women (!) -must say they all were muslems- I aknowledged that they appreciate beautiful words and feelings but at the end they look at matterial things also. They do not fall in the net of love totally blinded by words, as many "Western" women unfortunately -nowadays- do!!! (I would like to tell you that I can't think something better that Cultures be able to match together. This was my dream, what I was "fighting" for. Unfortunately -ma sha AlLah anyway and AlLaho akbar- I finally had to cope with the reality of life nowadays. At least me -and my partner maybe also-, I was not ready to make this "dream" come true. The energies needed to make the relation work, at the end, were more than the one the God provided me). So my dear. The God bless you and your beloved ones. (I wish you all are among the ones who will be able to give a successful start to crosscultural relations -and if it is the case, to crosssocialstatus relations and, if it is the case, to crossreligious relations, and ...). A virtual hug.


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I'm so glad you understood what I was saying. I agree, the western world lives in a "happy ever after" time. It's to easy to get a divorce these days and no one wants to take the time and energy to make things work. Love changes over the years, it grows stronger and quieter. lol
To answer you...the dog means real dogs...lol I have 2 and they add so much to my life.
We do not share the same religion, his family is Muslim and mine are Christian but we celebrate all the holidays. He loves to help me celebrate Christmas and I enjoy celebrating Ramadan. We both have the same values and feelings about God so the basic is the same. We are both more relaxed about our religion so I'm sure that makes it easier.
My family just fell in love with him also so there were no problems.
He travels a lot so is aware of the rest of the world and I"m sure that also helps our relationship to work. We actually met at the airport waiting for a flight to Cairo. lol Strange but true.
But I do know story is not the norm and I also did not marry him as a young woman. Being older I guess I was a bit wiser. But I have my days!!!!!!


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 Post subject: cross love relations!
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 9:18 am 
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Dear Eshta, thank you for your reply and I would have to say many things about what you said but first of all I would like to say I hope the God will bless your relation.

Just a couple of facts: I know other cross cultural relations started by a casual meeting at the airport/on the plane. I know other cross cultural relations (he muslem she "from the West") where he is younger (Mohammad PBUH and Khadija teach).

I have (nowadays!) my opinions about what above. Which I keep mines.

About the West I am sorry I must absolutely say that IT IS TOTALLY WRONG THE POINT OF VIEW "the western world lives in a"happy ever after" time". Sorry if in my past mail I talked in a way to make you think that and make you believe this is my point of view. I do not want to go deeper in that: I can just say "do not let yourself be tricked from what you see in television" and ... I support my point of view by saying "I know my life, my family life so that I can for sure say this is absolutely not a happy ever after style one".

I do not know if it is the right place to approach the following but I try. What does it mean "cross" what does it mean "culture". From antropology there are few meaning about that cross which are "a culture absorbe some habits of another culture", "a culture get totally absorbed by another one and disappears", "two cultures try to cope the one with the other but since they are too much different this dialogue turn to be a sort of neverending war". I allow myself not do report concrete examples happened/happening on our world even if I could. "Culture"? ... Religion, Traditions (which can come from a very past past and include religion believes as well as "rituals" coming from a much more ancient than the advent of religion), Politic, Sciences. I would like to go deeper in eveyone of those faces of the culture. It is not the right place.

Since here is a forum about cross cultural relations, I would just maybe suggest (sorry for my lack of humblety) that the mixed couple should discuss about their personal point of views on the "matters" above mentioned. The men tells about his believes, the woman about hers. From that discussion I would think the couple will be able to understand what kind of "crossing" (see antropology) is the couple living.

For Egypt and mixed couples living there (or even mixed couples where one of the partner is Egyptian) I guess it is a very good moment to approach the Politic matter. Again, I do not go deeper since there is not the need.

Even here where I live we just had an occasion to talk about Politic (and still having!): very interesting to see people's opinions. People from here what do they think about Parties and the different politicians, foreigners living here from several years what do they think about Parties and politicians, "foreigners" grew up here what do they think about the same subjects.

Alf Mabrok for your concrete and also "alf laylah wa laylah" relation. To you two and to your families. The God bless your relation.

Peace and happiness be inside and outside everyone, everywhere, always.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 2:11 pm 
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Location: Sharm El Sheikh
Dear Francesca, Dear Eshta,

I have been reading your posts during the last few days and I have few comments:

1-True Love means responsibility, caring, giving, understanding, respect, honesty, loyalty, forgiveness, sharing thoughts and hopes, strengthening each other?s weakness, uplifting, completing and supporting each other in good and bad conditions.
These are the true feelings for all lovers regardless their cultures. In other words, people may differ in the way they express their emotions but love basics are the same.

You are right Francesca, many people in Sharm (males and females) are fighting for the minimum living standard and most of them are unstable. Such conditions don?t create the suitable environment for anyone to be a good lover. You are talking about pure and deep feelings, and you are seeking perfection, but I am afraid to say it is difficult to find such a beautiful romance.

2- In many successful marriages (in Egypt), love is not the main reason for this success. Other reasons like respect, mercy, understanding and sharing goals to build a family can support the relation as well. As Eshta mentioned, both partners develop a strong love over time. Also families of both partners can interfere to solve problems whenever they arise. Social considerations, on the other side, do not encourage women to have private single lives.

3- I agree with Eshta, that every woman should meet the family of her husband. Many women believe that this step is unnecessary because they will not live with their husbands? family, but in fact, knowing the culture, seeing the environment and dealing with his family could bring up more awareness on the social background. "Roots" are very important and significant but with some exceptions. There are some examples of men who built themselves on their own and they are serious to have a successful marriage.

4- We can not generalize a single experience; we can not question anyone: why don?t you find a partner from the same culture or nationality? Such question is difficult to answer in a multi-cultural city like Sharm where there are a lot of single foreign females and a lot of single Egyptian males.
The question (for both partners) is: Are you matching or not? Did you discuss everything before marriage? Are you ready to cope with all differences in culture, religion and traditions? Are you ready to satisfy each other?

5- Islamic religion, apart from its spiritual actions and rules, controls all aspects in life like marriage, divorce, inheritance, what to eat and drink, what to dress ?etc. So religion can not be separated from life style. Some Moslems do not follow these rules strictly and they compromise their life style in one way or another. Others find that there are rules ordered by God that are not negotiable.


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 Post subject: Intercultural Relationships
PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 7:51 pm 
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Posts: 27
Location: Sharm El Sheikh
Gabriela : >Psychology is a hobby for me and I even study as the second university but I think that problems of women here cannt be solved by discussion.Most of the women who are caming here are courageous stronge women who are willing to change all their life trying to make a family with the men that they love and sometimes are facing problems that cant never imagine.<Gabriela>I agree with you.Interieure balance is important as Elke is suggesting but is not enough.The happiness is coming from inside you endeed (but when you are alone and you have all other reasons to be happy....) but when you choosed a wrong partner he can make you very unhappy, no matter how "balanced" you are...<

and latest inputs between Francesca & Eshta and the reply of Dr. Ibrahim.

Dear All,

I agree that most of the women coming to Sharm are strong and courageous but?they don?t realize that they come with baggage?.an old problem they could not deal with in the past, in their own country, where they believed not being happy anymore and therefore left in order to make a new beginning. But why it is so difficult, why it does not work?

People should realize, no matter how far they go away from home, no matter where they live on mother earth or which culture they get involved with, running away does not solve any problem from the past. A human is a paradox creature and anything new is nice, unusual & exiting. We see the world through ros? classes. Everything is wonderful! But after a while, when the daily life and routine takes over, human starts realizing that life is everywhere the same, and so are marriages, partnerships. The same problems show up just as it was back home, except stronger because they did not learn from the past and got themselves in a even worse situation because now they have to deal with a different culture & religion on top of it.

Any person should therefore deal in first place with its previous problems before entering a new partnership, regardless of which culture they may be, humans are the same all over the world; they all have the same problems, no matter where they live or who they are. Nobody should carry anger, hate or jealousy etc. inside from anything previously because everything we do, think or say should happen with a clean mind and heart. We should not carry on negativity in thinking or acting because such will set automatically towards ourselves. This is the law of the Universe ? "The law of CAUSE and EFFECT"!

God has given human ?free choice?! A free mind to think and a free mind to take free decisions. But be aware because that is HIS way of testing us! Every day we encounter a led into temptation, consciously or unconsciously. And since we are controlled by our "emotions", each one is lead to go for his benefit in first place which gives us a secure feeling. It means, we manipulate (mostly unconsciously!) because human is a materialist, does not believe in what he can?t see or feel. While everything we can feel and see gives us more security. How often we believe in what is told to us, rather than trusting our ?own inner voice?!? How often we go "shopping" buying something to make us feel better - just for a while though because shortly after the problem comes back again!!

It?s all just a ruff explanation of how we humans getting ourselves into trouble without realizing but should not see it as a negative aspect because any wrongly taken path is a process of learning! As soon we realize we taken a wrong path, we should try to make a correction on a honorable way! Even we do wrong choices, they are not a mistake! They are all a learning process. But after we finally learned, our view of life becomes different and this is the moment when we take the good way.

Once we are aware of our problem, we should deal with it (instead of running away) and than ?let go? - meaning we should forgive us and the other one involved. Its so EASY to be angry towards the other one, while it is so HARD when our self-discipline is required to be soft, forgiving and respectfull or understanding. This is the weak point of a human being - controlled by his emotions and when the mistake of hurt has been done, its difficult to make a correction. We should not carry on any negative thought or feeling. If we do that, an emotional blockage is created and stopping us from growing within ourselves. But if we do let go, the process of self-healing starts inside of us and we are about to regain our inner balance - YIN & YANG.

We should see others as our "OWN" mirror. Meaning, the person in front of us expresses the reflection of ourselves. Its called the Mirror effect! two-thousand years ago, Jesus pointed out : "Why do you see the shiver in the eye of your brother, but not see the beam inside your own eye?"
He was pointing out that the mistakes we recognize on others, are even stronger developed ?within ourselves?, which is a deep truth! Everything existing outside ourselves is a reflection of our inner life!

Looking inside a mirror you?ll see yourself - is there a detail you dislike? Well even u smash the mirror, it won?t help/change because the problem is not the mirror, it?s your self-perception. We judge others on behalf of our own basic principals, what we are and going to be, what we criticize on others. Most people want to change what they see in the mirror, what is however bootless as much as the essay changing this mirror. If we want to exchange a part it means, we do not accept the way we are. In order to find inner peace of mind we have to start accepting ourselves which therefore gives us the quality accepting our opposite.

The Universe keeps showing us our reflections, namely through people which are close to us or through important people who are "crossing" our life- path. Amongst other things, we are living on this earth in order to learn not to judge or criticizing others, not even ourselves! Our life is a mixture of culture & religion. We suppose to exercise forgivingness, giving respect to ourselves and others and to give and to receive love.

Sure, life is difficult because every day we have to exercise self-discipline, every day we encounter inviting temptations and it?s so easy to let it happen while it is soooo difficult following the path Allah wants us to walk...

_________________
Today do not anger,Today do not worry,Today honor those around you,Today work hard to improve yourself,Today honor & respect all living things - Dr. MIKAO USUI


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 12:40 am 
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I dont know about other but I was very very happy in my country , I didnt came here to look for happiness.It happend that I fall in love and marry with an egyptian but I came here just after I was pregnant and I live here just because my husband doesnt want to go in Europe.
I am speaking about women like me, who are sacrificing all their life to come to live here.For the ones who had nothing before I think is much easier - they are happy just having a husband and a family, will not complain much in case of problems - just they changed an unhappiness with another.


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