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 Post subject: After my husband's death, need some advice
PostPosted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 11:57 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 6:31 pm
Posts: 1
Dear all, Asselamu aleykum,

I dont know if I started this topic in the right place, but I just need some talk or advice as Im still very confused..I moved from Europe to Egypt last year, the reason was marrying my Egyptian husband. Two months ago he suddenly passed away,after one year of marriage...Im still in shock and disbelief, as akeed me and no one was expecting this..This was as I feel, and family and our friends felt the love that happens once in a lifetime..For me he was an excuisite man, loving,
caring, strong and made me feel like I was a precious diamond in his hands as he would say..The way he was treating me was something every woman should have in her life, and I know I have to be blessed by having such love in my life at least for once..I just need to be aware totally that he is gone as I still can't believe. I dream of him every night,I wake up in the middle of the night like someone poke me..
Many of my friends while listening to me speaking about our marriage just keep silent and say, "I wish I had with my husband what you had.." Although before coming here, some members of my family or friends were suspicious of me coming here for good, and commenting like, oh he's going to close her in the house, she will have no right to speak, things like that as usual people say when looking only what the TV is bringing them bout the Arabs...I wasnt listening to anyone, as this wasnt the first time for me to come to Egypt, and I knew people and the culture. I was listening to my heart only, as it was telling me this is the right thing to do, and this is the right man..He deserves your sacrifice of leaving all you had in your country, family and friends..And I know I did the right thing, but unfortunately this happiness lasted for a year only..And when I read the topics bout the Egyptians who treat foreign women bad, cheat for money and all that, makes me feel strange because I had a husband who was everything but not that.. And based on knowing many of his friends, I can say Egyptians are real men, who can respect a woman and treat her the way she deserves, especially when they get the love they need they give you even more..I would dare to say I had a fairytale in my life, although all the differences in religion, mentality and culture and fights we sometimes had, but love kept us strong and sooo close...And we were planning to have kids this year..
And I know I have to move on but I just dont know how. I feel like Im in a whirlpool of my own thoughts.
Back home, I dont have a big family..my parents died, just a brother who is working abroad..I feel I want to stay in the country of my husband as this is the place where I belong to..I know, many of you will say maybe, please go back to
your country, Egypt is not a good country to live in especially for a single woman (or a widow but It really hurts when I have to call myself this way :( ), its not stabile, people are like this or that..For me, Egypt is a country that brings special feelings inside of me..Every time I was travelling here, I felt something was dragging me to come..When planning vacation with my friends , there was never a question bout the destination, it was only a question of setting up the dates, cuz the destination was known - Egypt..and now after my husband is not here anymore, I still want to stay...Is this normal how I feel?
Right now, Im staying with his family who are absolutely amazing, they welcomed me as their own daughter, I dont know what I would do if they were not around..But I also know that I cant stay with them forever, as I must start my
own life although I wish God took me with him to a far better place than this..
I'm trying to find myself a job, I have done some research, maybe in Cairo, maybe in Sharm..I still havent decided yet..I would like to work in a school maybe, as I know children are the best cure for everything in life..If anyone maybe has any information, how it is to work in school in Sharm? Do they provide any accomodation, and how are the salaries there?
And, also for Cairo, if any of you had any information I would be deeply grateful.
I apologize for my long post, I just need to talk, hope you will understand me..


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 Post subject: Re: After my husband's death, need some advice
PostPosted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 12:45 pm 
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Joined: Sun Dec 19, 2010 1:03 pm
Posts: 14
Dear Flowergirl !
First of all, let me console. I feel with you.

I feel, you are deeply confused and very very sad. Might be, all is too "fresh". It is important to workout your sadness, to realize, to consider, to accept. Sure you will cry and scream > absolutely okay. Do it. And then, leave it and start your life.

----- Anywhen, later, you will be able to think. Might be not now. But for sure later.

My question would be > is Egypt your country bec your feelings, your heart or is Egypt the country bec of your husband. ----

So, if you are happy in place you choose, you can and will be happy. Does not matter, what others tell you. And I mean YOU --- not one beside you. You are you, you are the original, not copy of anyone.

I wish you alll best and your right decision. Light + love


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 Post subject: Re: After my husband's death, need some advice
PostPosted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 10:55 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 09, 2008 10:11 pm
Posts: 32
Location: En gland
So sorry for your loss.

Dont do anything too quickly, take your time his family will help you.

Take Care x


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 Post subject: Re: After my husband's death, need some advice
PostPosted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:28 am 
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Joined: Sun Dec 12, 2010 12:12 pm
Posts: 17
After reading this topic and I'm sure there are many others in a similar situation I thought I would attach a 'poem' given to me by a friend after I had lost someone vey dear to me. I re-read it many times and it does help.


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 Post subject: Re: After my husband's death, need some advice
PostPosted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:42 am 
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Joined: Sun Dec 12, 2010 12:12 pm
Posts: 17
Sorry, think I didnt attach 'poem' Not very easy to follow instructions.
Trying again.

I'M STILL HERE

I SAW YOU STANDING BY MY BED WEEPING
BUT I AM STILL HERE
I SAW YOU KISS ME GOODBYE
BUT I AM STILL HERE
I HEARD YOU CALL MY NAME LAST NIGHT
I FELT YOUR PAIN AND FEAR AND FRIGHT
BUT I AM STILL HERE
I SAW YOU AS YOU HELD YOUR HEAD IN YOUR HANDS
WITH YOUR WORLD FULL OF TROUBLES AND DEMANDS
BUT I AM STILL HERE

FROM TIME TO TIME I'LL POP IN TO SAY HELLO
I'M REALLY SORRY I HAD TO GO
BUT I AM STILL HERE
I PROMISE ONE DAY THERE WILL BE AN EASE TO YOUR PAIN
AND I WANT YOU TO GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE AGAIN
I'LL STILL BE HERE

YOU STILL HAVE SO MUCH LIFE TO LIVE YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUL HAS SO MUCH TO GIVE
BECAUSE I'LL STILL BE HERE
I HAVE A NEW HOME WHERE I NOW RESIDE
BUT I WILL STILL BE HERE RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE


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 Post subject: Re: After my husband's death, need some advice
PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 3:40 am 
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Joined: Mon Sep 05, 2011 8:30 am
Posts: 1
I hope to help you
sure I would help you


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 Post subject: Re: After my husband's death, need some advice
PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 3:14 am 
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Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2011 3:39 am
Posts: 8
Dearest FlowerGirl

I know you've written this a few months back... but I felt the need to reply...

You sound so sweet and gentle... and wise about the real things in life.... I'm so sorry to hear about your loss... I wish I could be there to ease your pains. It will for sure take time to move on, and you need to allow yourself this. It happened so suddenly and for sure you are in shock, it shows through your writing. Give yourself time. Your mindset is beautiful and on the right path, you've been appreciative and grateful. Treasure your memories, keep them safe and never let them go. Move on at your own pace.

I feel attached to you in so many things that you wrote although I haven't been where you are now....

I've lived in Sharm for a few months earlier this year, I moved to be with my Egyptian love. I have had to move back home in the summer. I can't take my mind off of my time there, although there was also a lot of hardships and pain too. Ever since I moved home, I've been thinking of moving back everyday. I keep feeling more and more that Egypt is my real home. I have such a strong and strange attachment and admiration to Egypt and Egyptian people. I'm 'comfortable' here, but my soul is there. I want to move back too. Please message me and I will send you my email, perhaps we can talk more.


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